Culture shock 2013

Since the Mayan's prophecy and Roland Emmerich's movie about the end of days in 2012 did not come to fruition, I've decided to revive The Book of Micah and spread my thoughts all over this inter-web thingie. My biggest change recently is the culture shock of moving from a liberal dope smoking gay marriage okaying indie music loving crunchy hipster beacon of the northeast to the wilds of western Maryland. When I thought of Maryland, I pictured a cultured state with the highest household income in the US, bordering the center of the Free World in Washington DC. I imagined the beauty of Chesapeake bay and the Eastern Shore, Annapolis home of our Naval Academy, Fort McHenry where Francis Scott Key wrote our sacred Star Spangled banner and the home of one of the most important battles of the civil war, Antietam. Maryland-home of Edgar Allen Poe, Fredrick Douglass, Thurgood Marshall, Rachel Carson, Billy Holliday-even John Madden and David Hasselhoff. Being one of the original 13 colonies, Maryland has a long and storied past that rivals any other US state. But then I realized-there is western Maryland. Oh my....they spit at my New England Patriots hat (four words-wide right Billy Cundiff)...They burn couches when University of West Virginia scores a touchdown...they fly rebel flags in honor of "the war of northern aggression"...there is an inordinate amount of adult bookstores right next to bail bondsmen store fronts...the women have worse teeth than the British...the water tastes as if it was processed from the local swamp...the cows on the abundant dairy farms have a higher literacy rate than the local population who speak with a twang that sounds like Tommy Lee Jones after a bottle of Wild Turkey (most of the time I need a local interpreter as if I'm in the wilds of Borneo speaking to the indigenous peoples). The locals have gun racks for their gun racks for god sake and they fervently believe our president is a secret Muslim. If you turn your radio on cruising through town, your options are country, country western, and evangelical country western. Will I, the carpet-bagging yankee hippish "ivory tower" New Englander with a full set of teeth survive this redneck paradise? Will I have to adapt with cowboy boots and Waylon Jennings greatest hits?Only time will tell...as I think I am the only one for miles that doesn't need an analog watch to actually tell time. Reporting from ground zero of a future succession movement-I'm out.

I'm So Poor I Can't Even Pay Attention.

Today in History:
Roddy McDowall was born in 1928 ( Cornelius and Caesar-"Get your stinking paws of me you damn dirty ape!" Fo-shizzle I always wanted to say that). Spiro Agnew died in 1996 ( A sneaky Greek but had the best name in VP history-it sounds like an herb supplement for wart removal). Australia had it's first TV broadcast in 1956-IQ drop 20 points around the country and the natives begin to speak with a ridiculous accent. Also, my favorite Ms. America was elected today in 1984-Vanessa Williams. She, of course, had her title removed due her nakedness in Penthouse but she is still the ONLY Ms. America that actually did anything worth noting after her title (or stripping there of). See- Pornography makes people successful: Sly Stallone, Jessica Hahn, Ron Jeremy and John Wayne Bobbit (he had help though).

I awoke at the early hour of 1pm today to the front page of my local paper blasting "Poverty Hits 1 in 7 in U.S" all over the front. The font hurt my ears. As you can read (I hope) the article says that the Census Bureau estimate that 14.3% of Americans live in poverty, or 43.6 million people. Looking at the US's definition of poverty let do a little 7th grade math:
1 person making under $10,830 per year is considered impoverished = 208.26 a week and at 40 hours = 5.20 per hour. For two people, the level is $14, 570 or 7.00 per hour. For three, $18, 310 at 8.80 per hour. And so it goes. Most statistics for poverty go via state, so I'm gonna use Maine (yesssah,bub) as an example. We have 11.4% of our population living in poverty (about 148,000 Mainiacs) where minimum wage is maxed via state law @ 7.50 an hour. Now, the living wage where I live (SoPo) is 10.34 per hour for one person, 15.46 per hour for two adults or 19.90 per hour for one adult one child. Check this out to figure your living wage in your area plus average wages. Living wage is defined as pretty much what you need to survive: shelter, heat, water, food, communication and transportation. Whatever change is left you can use to either pay off your mounting debt or try to for an uncertain retirement at 90. The gaps between poverty, minimum wage, actual wage and living wage is disgusting. Oooooooh, I get a .50 cent raise from poverty just to reach the bare minimum of breathing and then I need a 38% raise AGAIN to reach the next level of plain existence with no hope for the future-paycheck to paycheck to paycheck till I'm dead. Also, I can also worry about my $10,000 credit card debt, $8,000 for my car and God knows how much for college-I don't open the letters. It's like at first your'e a senior in High School, no worries except to find someone to buy you beer and then BOOM the debt cycle begins. College cost much $ plus all the credit cards you can imagine are open to you. By your 19th birthday you would be locked in a debtor prison if this was Victorian England. Or an indentured servant in Colonial America.

AKA THIS IS SLAVERY.

Last time I looked, that was kinda frowned upon. No one physically owns me (well, maybe my dad Big Mike) per say, but Chase Manhattan and local banks have it out for me. The own my ass. Well actually, the collection agencies and their evil, satanic bastard telemarketers own me. Any money I make goes to me perpetuating my breathing and electrical signals in my brain and everything else is poof-gone. I see my parents dealing with the issues of retirement and they were prepared and can collect pensions and Social Security. Me though? No Social Security. No Medicaid. No pension-unless I join the army and go to sunny Afghanistan or Iran. Now there are three certainties in my life-taxes, death and work till death. Good luck Florida-after all the baby boomers die off their kids won't be able to afford the properties and your Old People Trade will be finished! I am enslaved to debt and my reality economically speaking. EVERYONE is in debt-except for those who control the debt. They can fake a meltdown and receive a 400 Billion gift from Barry Obama but I cannot pay the bills like most Americans and I/we get the shaft. Even Dubbah Bush sent me a check! The dollar has been tanking for a decade, the housing market is cracked, US infrastructure is deteriorating, outsourcing is STILL a problem, we have and a 329 BILLION dollar trade deficit-how does this happen? Americans don't have the money to buy the goods....wait, they can use credit to buy the stuff they do not need and we can just keep pumping crap to US consumers! China and Wal-Mart are the Glorious Revolution! We buy into the mantra of the God of Over-Consumption which just fuel for the fire and the debt spirals and spirals. This isn't the circle of life Elton John sings about-it's the circle in Hell that Dante wrote about. Control the debt, control the person. What to do? Buy gold and put it under your bed and burn your dollars. Hey man, I ain't got all the answers. You got 5 bucks I can borrow?

Speaking of forms of slavery, please realize this economic sham that goes on in this country also has imprisoned 2.1 million of its own people under lock and key. 1 in 10 people are under the watchful eye of the Justice Department-either in jail, probation or house arrest. 3.1 million people. That is almost 50 million Americans in poverty and/or jail. If that is not a reflection of American Society and how twisted it is, I do not know what is. Plus, we have between 150-200 million Christians in the US-did they just all and go and forget their fellow man?

Quick fix-arm the homeless, demolish the Fed, institute fines for lending money at interest (it says it in the Bible!)and wealth distribution. Go Pancho Villa.

Remember, I am Micah and you're not.

" I would never advocate drugs, alcohol or violence but they have always worked for me."- HST

Today in history:

Amy Winehouse was born in 1982 (and the way she is going she'll be done by 30). Patrick Swayze died in 2009. The British Empire adopted the Gregorian Calandar starting on September 14, 1752-they skipped eleven days going from the 2nd to the 14th....Back to the Future, man. But what happened to the lost days?

Namaste, my people. Good evening.

The FDA came to a great decision today stating that they will allow Dextromethorphan to stay on our pharmacy shelves without a prescription. This leaves one of the few fun things left on the market that our government hasn't taken away from us. I would NEVER advocate drugs on this blog, but shit man, DXM is fun......Many are familar with the term "robo-tripping", a practice done for many a decade by crackheads everywhere. Consumption of the sweet, sweet ambrosia-de-Robo in certain amounts leads to vivid hallucinations and a floating sensation-good times for like 6 hours. Check out DXM on Erowid to get the low-down and get all your answers to your questions. Also check out this to get blow-by-blow of of people tripping out after sipping the syrup-they are hilarious....

In the surprise of the week, the US Justice Department said "At this juncture, the United States expects that it may file a civil complaint related to the Deepwater Horizon disaster," . Wow....they are contemplating that they may perhaps begin to think about the possibility that maybe BP did something somewhat shady and could be construed as illegal. It is great that they finally got around to this almost 5 MONTHS into this abomination. The oil is STILL flowing and BP has no comment as each attempt to stop it fails. The are looking to fine BP between 1100-3400 USD per gallon of oil spilled (approximately 226.4 million spilled or so-see widget) equals something like a gazillion dollars. Does the US accept out-of-state 3rd party payroll checks? Is BP going on layaway for the rest of eternity? This the worst natural disaster created by man next to our general destruction of the entire ecosystem, nature and animals of Earth during human history. R-E-S-P-E-C-T-that word don't mean s#%t to us humans-soon we will not be able to go uppta camp.

Reggie Bush has to return his Heisman Trophy? For accepting gifts? OJ KILLED two people and he got to sell his and then try to steal it back at gun point. There is no justice in the world....

And please remember: I'm Micah and your not. Peace.